Mud Boating. Yummy.

So, my day started off with me in a dark mood. Relationships were lacking and nothing was going right. So, instead of going to a therapist, I went to the beach. They say the easiest way to find God is through nature. In my mind, it's not possible to feel the sand, view/hear the ocean, observe the glorious clouds skipping across a pale blue sky , and not believe in God. So, I went to the beach by myself, and it was fabulous.

Eventually winding up on my friend's boat, The Supa Star, I felt the happiness God intended for all of us. Riding through Savannnah's waters with a cold beer in my hand, I thought of how its people have poisoned these beautiful waters with their ugly ways. But I didn't let it get to me. I will NEVER let them ruin a moment of happiness.

We went to an island and found ourselves giving way to light hearted shenanigans. Covering ourselves in mud, then letting the tide wash us clean. Even though I may have ruined my bathing suit, at least I got a good facial!

It's amazing how good people and salt water can turn a drowning day into a fantastic whirl wind of peace.

Scuse me Miss, Can I have yo' Numba?

Well, this is who I get my striking looks from... Nice handbag! Where'd you get it?

Honestly though, my Poppop is my weakness. My life wouldn't be the same without him <3

I want to be F A B U L O U S (like my Poppop), but when I think of fabulous, I can't help but think of tragic. However, I guess we are all tragic in our own way, so why not be fabulous at the same time? The thing about "goddesses" is that they all create this image of something to look at; a symbol of beauty. They hide their brains and their strength. This just makes me smile because men view them as objects, yet they are fooling the world... a Man's world.

Then there are the women. or more like "girls," such as Kendra (ya know, Heff's ex). I mean, no wonder why she is giggling all the time. I would kill to be that idiotic. To have no clue what is going on around me. Life would just be one never-ending party. So, Kudos to Kendra. I salute you!

I finally feel as if life is beginning to fall into place. Good things always come as a result of time, even though we have a love/hate relationship. The one thing that has never failed me is hope. What a gift that is.

Up in F~L~A~M~E~S

Next Tuesday is the season finale of ... *gulp.... *tear... Rescue Me. I place full blame on Denis Leary for the 'not so hot' grades I received on my finals, due to the fact that I discovered the show toward the end of the semester and laughed, cried, yelled (well, in my head), at the brilliant piece of modern art dancing before my big blue engaged eyes. That's right, 4 whole seasons! But, the only problem was that I watched all of these seasons in a matter of two days.

I wish I had the power of a siren. To have people stop and pay attention to me, no matter what they are busying themselves with during their repetitive blue-collar days. On second thought, that could become very dangerous. Maybe I just want to be the person behind the siren, who makes it crank and soar through the air, causing alert and a hint of thrill in people's eyes. I wonder how fast my heart would beat while racing to save a life while risking mine. I guess when you arrive at the scene instinct takes over. But what about when you are making your way over there? How many times have heroes asked God to care for their families if they don't return home that day? Or an ambulance driver's life may not be in danger, but they don't always beat God to the chase; they breathe death. What do heroes see at that very exact moment before their bodies sink into wonderland?

And who is a hero? Maybe someone who saves a life physically, and someone who saves a once weak and empty soul.

Someone who breathes life. Someone who rescues me.

"I can't wait to get out of this town."

Another day in Pleasantville. I took this picture the other day while on a bike ride. I love Savannah. It is the most beautiful city. I could never live here. The people down here love their gossip, unlike the north where we say it how it is and to your face! If the social life wasn't as ugly as it is, I would never leave this place, just float down the river laughing at the clouds above.

Ouchie! I ran the lawnmower over a little hill today thinking I was God and the jazzy "Snapper" was the little engine that could. Well, it couldn't! I got stuck on the hill, engine died and all. I tried pulling it off but as I grabbed the back end, my hand seared and blistered. Guess I shouldn't have touched that particular part of the mower, for my blisters resembled cream paint. Didn't know that was possible.

Speaking of 'snappers,' my Poppop apologized for snapping at me this morning because we "snap at the ones we are closest to and love the most." Why must love be so difficult?

Who invented the idea of pE r f E C tio N?

I am not perfect. I have yet to witness any object or person who is perfect. I guess the concept of perfection was derived from nature. Our constant need to please everyone and everything. Us humans are never satisfied. Either you're ugly and want to be beautiful. Fat and want to be thin. Beautiful AND thin but long to be invisible.

"I don't want to play sex roles any more.

I'm tired of being known as the girl with the shape."

~ Marilyn Monroe

I consider myself to be a happy person. But, God, I run so deep. I think too much. I obsess. And yet I have almost mastered not thinking and feeling. I guess denial is just part of surviving, meant for the crap in life that takes swings at you when you're not even looking. Can't do anything about it, can't punch life in the gut. This is when I drive with the window down, breath in the salt air, glance at the crazy ass sky, and know I'm OK.

I'm Sarah Jayne. I'm not perfect. I try my best (sometimes). And this blog will not consist only of flowers and puppies. I can't do happy 24/7. It would feel like a lie.